Gallowsbird’s Bark

South is Only a Home

Can I feel useless and low?
Could I hide a chain of gold from your eyes?
Sandy thinks he knows the trade, the game, the plays, the ways I made
Do you believe the first way to lend a hand?
It’s a second chance you never planned
Just a close encounter that comes to mind
A rummage sale you barely find
And it’s sold, you better believe it’s freezing cold
When it’s sold, you better believe it’s freezing cold
Oh Whitehall! Whitehall women rejoice
Tell us we’re the ones with the most
And hear the sounds of our voices
We’ve been waiting for our host
Brixton bunnies come in
We can see the state you’re in
Nothing like a smiling face
Oh what a waste you’ve been
Clapham clowns stop your frowning
Let it go, you’re not alone
The river may keep you drowning
But South is only a home
South is only a home

I slit my wrists with my Swingline;
Copied myself 500 times.
I pierced my ears with a 3-hole punch;
Ate 12 dozen donuts for lunch.
But next week I’m a walk, next week I’m a walk:
And the week after that I’m gonna run.
I swam in an Olympic-sized pool;
Had a picnic with a ventriloquist.
Saw my brother coming up the hill;
He wrapped a beach towel ‘round my wrist.
So next week I’m a walk, next week I’m a walk:
And the week after that I’m gonna run.
I dumped Surel for an older man;
Now I’m doing it for Dante.
Give me some of that nasty water.
I’ll take it one sip at a time.
So next week I’m a walk, next week I’m a walk:
And the week after that I’m gonna run.
Next week I’m a walk
And the week after that I’m gonna run
On one of those things:
It’s something like a treadmill I think.
Next week I’m a walk, next week I’m a walk:
And the week after that I’m gonna run.

I pulled my kerchief out of my pocket
Wiped my nose and said hello
I bought a tambourine at the Millennium Dome
It jangled 2000 times in a row
I caught a cold when I was way down South
Standing out in the heat
Now my eyes are all itchy
And I can’t tell which way to walk down the street
I’m stumbling through the crosswalk
And I’m humming in the din
And when I get to the other side
I’m gonna jangle my tambourine again
I fished my microphone out of Regent’s Canal
Heading from Little Venice to Greenwich
Dirty boy said, “Let’s make love in the water.”
I said, “No thanks, pal.”
Went on my way dictating in my mic
I got no time for a dip ‘cause I’m heading for my ship
I’m going down to the tunnel
Down to the leaky, leaky tunnel

Wearing my scarf and my hat
And I squint and I sniff as I went around
Walked up the road through the woods
By the pines, by the lake as I heard the sound
Maria Anna Gamisou
Daughter of a dire in Oulu
Sang me a song or two
And I wrote them down
Up in the North, in the cold
In the ice, in the snow
She would cry and cry
There she would moan, she would whine
And the tears would pour down
And she would never
Angela Exema Milou
Servan girl in Turku
Sang me a song or two
And I wrote them down
Down in the South, in the heat
In the sweat, in the rain
She would cry and cry
There she would moan, she would whine
And the tears would pour down
And she would never
Melissa Jarmon Dupres—ooo!
Sitting on bench in Anjou
Sang me a song or two
And I wrote them down
Elias Doxia Didou
Son of a bitch back in Turku
Sang me a song or two
And I wrote them down

In the Cracker Barrel dumpster I found a bag;
Red-white striped, I opened it — gag:
Mummy Day Pizarro dressed in a Inca rag.
Call on in to work quick
Tell ‘em that I’m sea-sick.
Uncle Ricky’s schooner’s docked at Pompano Beach:
Weigh anchor and me and him each
Need some extra sun block, do it for ‘em he can’t reach.
San Juan by next Sunday
Mummy, mummy, mummy.
Walking through the market, stop buy some rum and coke:
Plantains please, my mummy man spoke.
But you have to pay, ‘cause dude, I’m broke.
Sitting outside the sunset, are we in Cadiz yet?
Over to Majorca for few audience fit
Juan Carlos, his throne he go sit.
Throw the mummy in the dungeon bottomless pit.
Appealing in the Hague say,
Mummy, mummy, mummy.
I was listening to classic VH when I pulled an H. Singh
Drank myself to a stupor, ears started to ring
And I’ll go to Finally Al’s and type my brains away
With Pebbles and Ives we’ll meet Madonna, LaDonna, ShaDonna
And my brother with the very best name of all
And we’ll go to Finally Al’s and type our brains away
Let’s play bacci and horseshoes and croquet
But no not cricket ‘cause I can’t say their names
And I’ll go to Finally Al’s and type my brains away
Penguin, Moe, Sal, Chris
Penguin, Moe, Sal, Chris

I woulda had a asthma attack
If I seen the shark bite back
I woulda had a asthma attack
If I seen the shark bite back
Yeah it’s Paradise Island I know
Yeah, yeah, yeah I been there before

Once, twice, three times maybe
Once with my moms and twice with my baby

I shook my silver bracelet at a thousand sharks
They like the shimmer-glimmer but said
No never, no never, no never swim in the dark

Once, twice, three times maybe
Once with my moms and twice with my baby

I woulda had a asthma attack
If I seen the shark bit back
I woulda had a asthma attack
If I seen the shark bite back
Yeah, yeah it’s just a figure of speech
A python ate my babe when he hit the beach

Once, twice, three times maybe
Once with my moms and twice with my baby

I shook my silver bracelet at a thousand sharks
They like the shimmer-glimmer but said
No never, no never, no never swim in the dark

Once, twice, three times maybe
Once with my mom and twice with my baby

Don’t dance her down boys
Don’t dance her down
Don’t dance her down boys
Her man’s in town
I played cards in England
I threw dice in Spain
I’m going back to England
To play cards again

Don’t dance her down boys
Don’t dance her down
Don’t dance her down boys
Her man’s in town
My mom told me
A long time ago
To quit all my rowdy ways
And drink no more

Don’t dance her down boys
Don’t dance her down
Don’t dance her down boys
Her man’s in town

At 4 o’clock
Just after work
I got my check
I held my breath
The phone rings tell ‘em I ain’t never here

The over-under
Made a blunder
I gave my cell phone
To my cousin
He plays the threats I get to his friends at school

I board the dog
At Uncle Nicky’s
I put my hood up
I have to run out
You welched the bet I’m soaking wet too close to an OTB

I took a train
Got off at Trenton
Bought a ticket
A bus to Vinton
Won’t stop sweating till I get to Davenport
On the bus
On the bridge
Bye-bye Moline
Look at the water
Filthy, dirty, cloudy, muddy, messy, mucky, crystal clear

I got my palm read
For $7.50
She looked me over
I bought a crystal
Filthy, dirty, cloudy, muddy, messy, mucky, crystal clear

Slip me out of my Northern noose
My Easter egg
My Western wheel
And a Snouthern snake

I gotta busted breast and a jiggly thigh
A rumpled roast and a ragged eye
A floppy neck and two fat feet,
Sneaky cheeks chewin’ greasy gums

You got a wing in your snaggle tooth
And you can’t knock it back with no 80 proof
You got a wing in your snaggle tooth
And you can’t kick it back with no 80 proof

Down in the dumps
Me and the seagulls we were looking for lumps
They all get scared when off of one of the bumps: jumps
I have to clutch
I have to tell him his commands all in Dutch
He likes his treat but he don’t like to touch, much.

I forget to fix his card
Down on Richmond Boulevard
Running through the yard, keenly.

High on the hills
They laid the sod thought they were full of the fills
Now when we’re searching I swear all of it kills stills
Wrinkling his brow
He takes a sniff and drags me over there now
He looks all worried then he tells me a bow wow.

I forget to fix his card
Down on Richmond Boulevard
Running through the yard, keenly.

Shade by the sheds
I drink a coke he digs a hole and he heads,
Back where they came, the trucks leave their treads, speds
Over the sift,
He goes all round it past the end of his shift;
I make him leave he lets me know he feels miffed: stiffed.

I forget to fix my card
Down on Richmond Boulevard
Stumbling through the yard, sleepy.

Gale, gale blow
Gale, gale blow
My umbrella can’t take it you know
Been caught in a hail storm
A blizzard, tornado’s nose
But nothing, no nothing
Can beat this gale blow

Never let one man worry your little mind
Never let one man worry your little mind
He’ll keep you troubled, worried
Worried all the time

Don’t you wish your little boy was cute like mine
Don’t you wish your little boy was cute like mine
He’s a married man
But he comes to see me sometime

On my first day in town we saw the King
He was dressed in a suit with a bright blue tie
And it matched his eyes
And when ours met I sighed

Took a boat or a ferry to island
There were gardens and trees and balloons in the sky
And we knew it was right
It wasn’t only the light

Rode our bikes up and down the streets so wide
Don’t lock ‘em up, no they’ll be just fine
And I said Oh my, my!
I can’t believe it! I cried
This must be paradise
But it’s not, no, no, no
But it’s sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet oh Sweden

Had a breakfast of cheese, yogurt too
All this fat but you’re so skinny to boot
You said it’s in my genes
Yeah we’re so skinny we’re mean

Took the train everyday from your suburb yeah right
Only ten minutes and we’re South Center tonight
And we don’t have to pay
We sneak in free everyday

Schnapps on the house at the bars you like
Your friends stand in line and practice English all night
And I like them; they’re nice
All so blonde and precise
This must be paradise
Oh it’s not, no, no, no
But it’s sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet oh Sweden

Goat’s head in the deli case
Oh sweet angel-angel-bearded face
Paper mache parade on at night
That’s what you do with no sunlight

In the tropical, tropical
Tropical ice-land

Black church on a cold tundra
Mountain-glacier-glacier-glacier-stream
Black stone beach and a Black Death bottle
Is all me and my baby’ll need

In the tropical, tropical
Tropical ice-land

Take intermission at the movies
Freeze outside for one quick smoke
Take a Klondike bar from the pop machine
Hey it’s ice cream, no not coke

In the tropical, tropical
Tropical ice-land

Let’s meet in Kristiana next summer
Let’s get out before we melt away
I’ve seen enough stray ponies and puffins
To get me through till the end of May

In the tropical, tropical
Tropical ice-land

Troubles up and down the road
And trials all the way around
Never knew what trouble was
Till my honey threw me down
With nothing but old ragged clothes
My heart strings broken to shreds
Blues creeping over my body
Queer notions flying in my head

The easiest thing I ever done
Was loving and drinking wine
The hardest thing I ever done
Was paying off a judge’s fine
I’ve never worked for pleasure
Peace on Earth I cannot find
The only thing I surely own
Is a worried and troubled mind

If men and wine don’t kill me
There’s one more plan to find
Soak up all the old rub-alcohol
Ease all trouble off my mind

That easy-going man of blood
Mucking out in the McLennan County mud
If you’re hoping he won’t well course then he must
Driving his truck through the McLennan County dust

I read in my book on Sunday afternoon
And it’s easy to thing the end’s coming soon
But though sometimes the signs from heaven are vague
Early November we got back the plague

While beautiful Laura’s sweeping the porch
He’s teleconferencing up his Operation Torch
And I don’t care if he bombs Babylon to hell
Except for he’s building Babylon here as well

Waking up in Cedar Rapids asking for allies
Praising his leaches and looking for likewise
Down in St. Charles local talent he hawks
Smirking and sowing the wind as he talks

In northern Virginia on their excursions
L.U.V. in with all their diversions
Horns for hounds and spurs for horses
Release the committed 72-hour task forces

Betonville and Dallas with gasoline douse
Then back to Crawford going over to the firehouse
Behind the curtains not turning much of a trick
Sicking ourselves to make ourselves sick

That easy-going man of blood
Mucking out in the McLennan County mud
If you’re hoping he won’t well course then he must
Digging us down under the McLennan County dust

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Gallowsbird’s Bark

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