Quay CurI had a locket, a little silver charm,
Given to me so to keep me out of harm.
Canvassing the quayside trying to earn my keep,
A killick tore it off my neck and threw it in the deep.

And now I’ll never, never, never feel like I am safe again, etc.

Up to the quarantine, late night aboard,
Try to raise our fees but we get what they afford.
Busy work below deck according to form;
Waiting for the clear to leave but then comes up a storm.

We hid beneath the barrels of blubber hoping that the rain had passed
But when the wind kept up the rats cut down the rigging off the mast
And then the rust chewed through the anchor chain and out to sea we’re cast.

The clouds dried and cracked
It was calm and in fact
The ship had been towed,
By sea Dyaks rode
So we’re sold at Kolaba
‘n sent – I let out a sob, a
cry oh no it’s disaster – T’ranter Bay Madacascar

Great gulps of Greek fire get us in;
Sling sticks at the stockade Fort Dauphin;
A guardsman gave a griffin said grease my duke:
Down by the chimney and out through the fluke.

A looby, a lordant, a lagerhead, lozel,
a lungio, lathback made me a proposal:
Straight sail, top mast, astrolabe prospected
down in his dry dock erected infected;
Mocked up with silk strings and taffeta tricked
with nails out of driftwood already iron sicked:
now spy out the glass at whatever missteps me
and the press gang warrant’s signed Sir Edward Pepsi.

Course it wasn’t long till I caught the croup,
Dawdling on the drizzy deck of my majesty’s sloop.
If only the helmsman would turn from his whip staff
With my azimuth compass I go by the hectograph
Up to the whaling fleet in Gilbert sound
Then back in the hull when we come around
With 8 whales, 100 seals and 2 polar bears
Nearly in the harbor without any cares,
But then:

A looby, a lordant, a lagerhead, lozel,
a lungio, lathback made me a proposal:
Straight sail, top mast, astrolabe prospected
down in his dry dock erected infected;
Mocked up with silk strings and taffeta tricked
with nails out of driftwood already iron sicked:
now spy out the glass at whatever missteps me
and the press gang warrant’s signed Sir Edward Pepsi.

Half hour sandglass
Seven saker round shot
Ice for the moonshine
And chichsaneg.

Canyglow, canyglow, canyglow don’t say nugo
Tie tight my sugnacoon
In comes the tucktodo
Aba in aob aginyoh.

Look awennye
Get out my sawygmeg
Yliaout, yliaout
Weave us on shore
Unuiche quoysah
Maconmeg
And I gave a sasobneg.

Canyglow, canyglow, canyglow don’t say nugo
Tie tight my sugnacoon
In comes the tucktodo
Aba in aob aginyoh.

And now we live by muskles, water weeds with small relief in store
And all the sick men in the Galean were then put upon the shore
And on the 22nd we didn’t see our general any more.

Down came our trestle-trees, no pitch tar or nails;
Fore shrouds break no rope we trust;
Only one shift of sails.
Drink my Rosa Solis; struck suddenly ahull;
Yield ourselves we spoomed, my sinews stiff,
My eyes were dull.
And now I’ll never, never, never feel like I am safe again
And now I’ll never, never, never feel like I am safe again
And now I’ll never, never, never feel like I am safe again.

And as we pass the equinoctial only 5 of us could stand
And while the capsten without sheets or tacks by all of us was manned
And on the 11th day of June ran in at Barehaven to land.

STRAIGHT STREET

Tea time at Damascus computer café,
I’m looking busy and straring off the other way.
Leverkusen, Juventus; Leeds v Valencia:
I’m over-hearing all their nonsense in extensia.
They’re talking too tough for me to inspect
so I have to smell who seems the best to connect.
I pick my clique and set to go to work
but the only thing they care about is to whom to play the Turk.
So I walked up the length of the Street they call Straight
cursing myself cause I got there too late.

I traded an expired credit card for two cupfuls of water;
they had a dirty beanie baby so for good luck I bought her.
I rented a Hyundai with two flats and no windshield
no speedometer and a handbrake that squealed;
when the sun came up I couldn’t put down the visor
so I put on my hat and put a question to my advisor:
Whose trucks are those that are parked up by the town?
but he only would mumble with his eyes pointed down.
So I walked up the length of the Street they call Straight
cursing myself cause I got there too late.

My boss the head of sales for Western Asia
said you’ll get fired if your opposite from Nokia plays ya,
if he beats you for the battle of hearts and minds
tell ‘em we use pig by-products in our designs.
So when I saw my rival’s smile didn’t get diminished
no one had to tell me I knew that we were Finnished:
You boys from Ericsson better get in the back seat
cause your phones are getting stoned over on that straight street.
So I walked up the length of the Street they call Straight
cursing myself cause I got there too late.

So I went to Georgia looking at spas and convents
tried to make myself the broker for selling off the contents.
At the big change clinic my friends said don’t be a cynic
you should work in Baku this is watcha gotta do:
Call a contact in Texas talk to ‘em in their Lexus
on their hands-free device and don’t be too nice.
But in my teleconference with Houston
they told me I wasn’t any use to ‘em.
So I walked up the length of the Street they call Straight
cursing myself cause I got there too late.

Tea time at Damascus computer café,
I’m looking busy and staring off the other way.
Arsenal, Inter, Leeds v Valencia:
I’m over-hearing all their nonsense in extensia
They’re talking too tough for me to inspect
so I have to smell who seems the best to connect.
I pick my clique and set to go to work
but the only thing they care about is to whom to play the Turk.
So I walked up the length of the Street they call Straight
cursing myself cause I got there too late.

BLUEBERRY BOAT

Pontoon put-put with the tape on 10
Dixie cup pink wine in the Labor Day sunshine.
I’m sliding the sunfish up through the wakes
coming up too quick, making mistakes.
Quiet climb the chrome ladder in the front
while they’re all yawning, under the awning.
Astroturf green hot to the touch;
sneak open the cooler, they’ve got too much.

–Past Taipei, through the Taiwan straights
we sailed on in, me and my mates.
It was my first time running my own ship
though my buddies didn’t care they didn’t give me no lip,
so many times we’ve been side by side:
but I never carried a load with so much pride.

you see I’m from Grand Rapids and up my way
we grow the best blueberries in the U.S. of A.
and when we pull into old H.K.
the little markets’ll have something special next day.
–At dawn I had a scotch and made them switch off the porn
cause there’s nothing that’s dirty about the ocean in the morn.

The radar said nothing and nothing crossed my mind
when they came starboard side up from behind.

–Down below deck sip the south island sec
think when last put in port, I was sorting the sort:
and then a girl caught my eye as she was waving goodbye.
Tell me my dear, I said warm and sincere, who do know on the ship
and then she curled up her lip:
I don’t know no one there yet but just wait see what you get.
–Pop the top and drink your drop we’ll never go home.
Curse and cry and why oh why we’ll never go home.
We’ll never go home.

The radar said nothing and nothing crossed my mind
when they came starboard side up from behind.

I never saw them coming even though it was light;
they beat two of my men simply out of spite.
And then they came back to the helm, kicked me over and said:
Do what we say or we’ll kill you and your men.

I looked back at those pirates with their beady little eyes;
I gathered my courage and I could see their surprise
when I said Go ahead you could cut my throat
but you ain’t never getting the cargo of my blueberry boat.
–It’s sad and it’s cold at the bottom of the sea
but at least I got my blueberries with me.

CHRIS MICHAELS

Later at lunch with the taco lettuce crunch crunch
she sets herself apart the bunch.
How bad does she seem?
She makes me wanna scream.
On the phone with the West Glen Ellen rest home
talking up a tattle tome:
how bad does she seem?
She makes me wanna scream.
My mom is gonna baby sit tonight;
did you hear Melinda got into a fight;
you whore you bitch she said, well then it serves her right.
Talking all mad you know she really isn’t being sad:
her baby daddy’s name is Tad.
How bad does she seem?
She makes me wanna scream.
Well yesterday you know she didn’t none of that to say:
she queen-bee turned and walked away.
How bad does she seem?
She makes me wanna scream.
Then boyfriend calls her up the other line;
she tells him sweetie sweetie sweetie mine,
but he spaces out and thinks to himself all the time:

My baby’s got a stick stuck out her beak,
my baby takes a drink out of the leak,
my baby’s got a blue-green sweater,
and a nest down by the creek.
Plume bloom bloom baby bloom
cheep cheep beep bee-bee beep.
Where did you for lunchtime go?
Did Kevin and Jenny show?
Do wanna go out tonight?
No.
Plume bloom bloom baby bloom
cheep cheep beep bee-bee beep.

Remember that girl down the end?
She was my friend.
But just now she’s angry came up
and said You’re so so stup’
it’s all disrup’
you’re blah blah this this that so now sh’up
you messed it up.
Remember that girlfriend of Al’s?
Well we were pals.
Today she was angry came up
and said you’re so so stup’
it’s all disrup’
you’re blah blah this this that so now sh’up
you messed me up.

Then Tony of the Franklin Park hockey club
went to Gunzo’s and bought a goalie glove.
Jessica was’posed to meet him back on Manheim
kitchen back door by all the grease and grime:
Was a little bird at my back door
said your true love’s let you down.
There was a little bird at my window
said that he’s been messing round;
he’s working up the courage so to leave you;
he’s getting ready to say he don’t love you.
Well Tony took it all in stride
said don’t be silly but wondered who had spied.
Jessica was driving down Wolf Road.
Roll up the windows baby talk in code.
I’m the little bird at your back door
said your true love’s let you down.
I’m the little bird through your chimney
said that he’s been running round;
he’s working up the courage so to leave you;
he’s getting ready to say he don’t love you.

Then she bumped into purses stole a credit card;
writing Chris Michaels, no it wasn’t hard.
Number five terminal with a yogurt cup,
reading a Young Miss as she slurps it up;
nasty message when he don’t pick up.
Layover Aden watch the local news:
99 and humid Oh the Red Sea blues.
Landing at Delhi take a third class train;
umbrella vendor in the autumn rain.
Then the cops come by and ask your name.

With his chillum and chillum-chee
the cazee sentences me:
so now go where you’re supposed to be
and give up your Devi Desi.
I’s paraded on through the choke
when my leg irons broke
and my bicycle wheel spoke:
the Bombay army’s no joke.
On the top of a Naracan Dam
started our picnic then Bam!
My Devi ‘n me had to scram:
quick down to Madras a’lamb.
Thought as a tindal that I could blend
as I got to pretend,
from laziness, the gang defend:
pick up your pick axe and rend!

Fasten your seatbelt and take hold of my arm
that’s what she said before setting off my alarm:
baby gotta go baby gotta go.
I know
she’s gonna go
I know
she’s gonna go.
Down in Columbo girl whatever you want
but the surf, and cobras, tigers all taunt:
baby gotta go baby gotta go
I know
she’s gonna go
I know
she’s gonna go.

PAW PAW TREE

At last when the choice was neither nor,
bottom of the bay we’re set ashore.
Went into town beg what we lack:
200 stripes on horseback.
Wearing my yellow coat,
rope tied around my throat:
great green wax candle unlit;
Silence! and then the sentence spit.
I’m sitting up in my paw paw tree
wait they make mango mush outta me.

Pick axe I can’t stay
silver mines all day.
Cut down the weed wood
and think that I just could.
I’m sitting up in my paw paw tree
wait they make mango mush outta me.

Tied down with brown twine
up past the tree line
up by I hope where
the King of Spain don’t care.
I’m sitting up in my paw paw tree
wait they make mango mush outta me…

MY DOG WAS LOST BUT NOW HE’S FOUND

…I kicked my dog
I was mean to him before
I guess that’s why he walked out my door:
I really wish I could see him some more.

I looked under the mats and I asked all the cats
I went to the vet have your heard anything yet
My dog was lost but now he’s found
My dog was lost but now he’s found
I went to the bar and they said not so far
I went to the gym have you taken a walk with him
My dog was lost but now he’s found
My dog was lost but now he’s found
I went to the run at they were having too much fun
I put up a flyer and gossiped the town crier
My dog was lost but now he’s found
My dog was lost but now he’s found
I stood on the corner and called up the coroner
I emailed the station and told ‘em my location
My dog was lost but now he’s found
My dog was lost but now he’s found
I went to the DQ cause I thought I might see you
I went to the Super K have you seen any recent stray
My dog was lost but now he’s found
My dog was lost but now he’s found
I went down to the market where tied up you used to bark it
I went where you got adopted felt so bad I nearly dropped dead
My dog was lost but now he’s found
My dog was lost but now he’s found
I put a mortgage on my lease and went to the police
I bribed my way on the system cause I really, really missed him
My dog was lost but now he’s found
My dog was lost but now he’s found
I finally went to ground gave some pence to the pound
I finally went to ground gave some pence to the pound
My dog was lost but now he’s found
My dog was lost but now he’s found

I went to church that Wednesday night
The guest preacher said I bark but I don’t bite;
I saw my dog but he’d seen the light:
My dog was lost but now he’s found.

MASON CITY

Came a card marked Mason City
from my forwarder.
Shut the door don’t let my dad see;
read aloud dear sir:
Understanding you account an upright gent-
lemen Aetna Life agreed and lent.
By the way my fee is 2.6 percent.
Write again the Riceville widow
SASE.
I would guess they’ll be turned out though
I’ll still make my plea:
If the Dunlay heirs cannot be seen to care,
then the Banker’s Trust will surely think it fair
to not give extensions, as musn’t dare.
Write Des Moines on several matters
and I near anoint.
ladle thick the pleasant flatters,
then comes the point:
Mr. Nelson wouldn’t like to hear it said
as he’s too proud, so I do it in his stead:
he shall need an extension– so it read.

–Take the Oregon Short Line to Salt Lake;
take the Pere Marquette, take the Michigan Central,
to West Madison for Christ’s sake.
Forge men, Molders, Blacksmiths, Boilermakers,
none on the make.
Up for shade on Crumb Hill
get something to make my hands still.
But now— Wait.

How are you my nabs?
Little tender footed crabs,
meet my knuckle duster.
You geeched that gazoon’s gow
tried to break into the bow:
go wipe your nose.
I’m just hanging out with some noler knockums,
passing time waiting till my stock comes.
Prussian who got jockered,
my snapper till your knockered,
get on the snam.
The chivman wants your chip;
better dummy up then go dip:
you’re outta turn.
I learned that the lowest form of life is the buffer nabber,
even worse than the dicer stabber.

CHIEF INSPECTOR BLANCHEFLOWER

I wanted to be a typewriter mender when I grew up,
But things didn’t work out so. Sleep
late in the morning, climb up Mt. Olympia and replace a Return:
but I didn’t get enough good grades.
My uncle Peter had the Parthenon Business Machine Remediation outfit,
and right there, on the shop floor,
hundreds of electric-selectrics, all messed up:
but I didn’t get enough good grades.
I had a Dexedrine hyperactivity selective
attend to relevant
information tempo taken in told to
mechanism coping concept
put my head down crumple my paper.
Sent to look at the future-job folder-binders,
I got distracted by the graphs.
In the resource room Mrs. Petorsky re-enforced me:
raisins from her zip-lock bag,
and free time after my target behavior I was positive about:
tickets, tangibles, chips and stars.
Now playing I’m In My Own Little House:
tickets, tangibles, chips and stars.
I had a Dexadrine hyperactivity selective
attend to relevant
information tempo taken in told to
mechanism coping concept
Put my head down crumple my paper.
After school I was sitting in the sitting room
looking out at the pavers in their bright orange vests
holding up the slow-go diamond plastic piece of wood,
and I knew that I’d never be any good
and never wear a hard-hat and do things like that,
so I joined the police force:

Damp in Dumbarton dip about the 14th of May.
The publican dropped me a line, thought there had been foul play:
the farmer up the hill came in with his knife
he mumbled something darkly about his young wife.
Riding up on the post coach I thrummed on my notebook.
The wind was up, I held on my hat. I do up my coat, look:
the farmer stumbled past holding his gun
he mumbled something darkly about his young son.
About your wife, sir.
What about her?
Pray, where is she?
No where you’ll see.
Locked him up in the storeroom of Mrs. McVeigh’s Inn.
Take tea up in the manor Sir Robert Grayson.
The farmer through the window came in with his sword;
he mumbled out of breath Forgive me m’lord.
And after that rustic imposition I took a deposition,
I shared a Woodpecker cider with a local fratricider
who told me all this stuff and more:

Well I rode up to Springfield on my motorcycle
and I’s gonna stay with my younger brother Michael.
Mom’s oxycontins and the Amstel Light
but I noticed I was doing most of the talking that night.
So I got both remotes and turned off the DVD
and said Michael is there something that you need to say to me?
Well I don’t know how to tell you.
You can tell me any
thing that you want ‘cept I started seeing Jenny:
I started seeing Jenny.
My Jenny?
and he looked down at the floor.
You know damn well she ain’t your Jenny no more.
and I said Get her on the phone.
Don’t you think it’s a little late?
No I don’t think it’s a little late.
but I went out the room cause I knew I’d better wait.
So I went down to her dad’s bakery and she said
I’m gonna go outside take a break smoke a cigarette.
I’m still surprised at how mad you get.
Well what’d you expec’?
That you wouldn’t try to wreck your little brother’s happiness.
And I said Listen to you!
I know what you’re trying to do.
And what whould that be?
Mess with Michael’s head as some kind of revenge back at me.
–So I drove up to Springfield in my wife’s new car
and went and had a drink at my buddy’s old bar.

SPANIOLATED

I was 18 years old just a research volunteer;
I walked home from the TCBY each night with no fear.
One particular starry 11 o’clock
I went down by the water;
an old man with a burlap bag
said How you doin’ my daughter
He put me the hole of his old rusty crawler
and fed me three pills a day to keep me from getting taller.
Learned me the rosary and made me pray to Santiago:
I wish, I wish I was back in Chicago.
Up the river to Seville I was rowing and strumming
on my portable guitar my fair lady a humming
The pain, the pain, in Spain falls mainly on me.
The pain, the pain, in Spain falls mainly on me.

1917

Going down Morgan with Janko, Jerko, and Jerry,
we downed our Pils, and over at the South Shore, they sipped their sherry.
I opened my Kaiserized speller to learn what they know:
Nurse killers, annexers-executioners, wo!
Hey Slavonians, be ye mindful
that our ‘tis tongue dies never.
The happy Hun Felsch sure likes his blonde beer
and I like his doubles so much I might even cheer.
Last year he had enough and got fixed on the cardinal
who’d pardon all
the riff-raff and all their sinister riff-raff ways and halves and he laughs
over on 56th, and he’s got the arsenic on his left White Sock
and he sees the chicken stock in a big black pot
and he pours in the lot; but what ruined or saved the day
was that the soup then turned gray, and a hundred higher-ups came
back from the hospital to keep getting wafers from Mundelein:
but now the Gigantics are getting the tar taken out of their pine
by my hero Red Faber and I’m ready to get rapprochement with my neighbor
as part of the healthy back and forth–
but not if he’s from up North.
So I ask Dad, Why can’t we ever win, ever win, once?
Go ask Dad, why you can’t ever win, ever win, once.

BIRDIE BRAIN

I hate the steam train that whistles woozy my bird brain,
that sends my spaniel insane.
And I’ll stop riding side-saddle if they don’t stop the clickity clattle,
I’ll jump in the undertow penguin paddle and drown in my wedding gown

I’ve been told the Bronx River stream on moonlit nights is meant to seem like the Rhone in a glacier icy dream but then in a poof it’s sulfur steam.

I hate the aeroplane that nearly misses my birdie brain,
that terrifies my terrier insane.
And I’ll stop riding side-saddle if they don’t stop the clickity clattle,
I’ll jump in the undertow penguin paddle and drown in my dressing gown.

I was drinking by the Des Plaines River when the naught of night served for making me shiver and me the squirrels would hold hands and quiver cause that damnable diesel never fails to deliver.

I hate the livery cars that have my bird brain seeing stars,
that drive my doberman to drink in bars.
And I’ll stop riding side-saddle if they don’t stop the clickity clattle,
I’ll jump in the undertow penguin paddle and drown in my wedding gown.

I hate the steam train that whistles woozy my bird brain,
that sends my spaniel insane.
And I’ll stop riding side-saddle if they don’t stop the clickity clattle,
I’ll jump in the undertow penguin paddle and drown in my dressing gown.

TURNING ROUND

Catamaran man you’re my cousin, you’re my blood, you’re ten feet tall.
And tan from the sun, after sailing all day you sleep in your car.
Throw the cushions on the floor and listen to the sweet, sweet dub.
Roll a fag just for fun, and dream of the waves and your sails turning round.

WOLF NOTES

Pick up your trumpet,
your plastic, pretend trumpet:
blow me your horn today.
Pick up your tambourine,
your Fisher Price My First Tambourine:
jingle and jangle today.
Plug in your keyboard,
your symphonic sound samba Samsung:
pick out a tune today.
Turn off your radio
shut away your stereo
put away your discman
and play me a tune today:

I rub the peg-paste and the chalk in,
scrape and the wolf-notes start to grrr.
I did a donkey’s back with fixed frog
and I martellato the slur.
Through an open wound you watch the guts go,
cut cross the cat line, thick and thin.
All over spun and rosined-up a slow stick trills me, trills me:
She varnished all around her F-holes;
blue tape take aim, but the arms are too low.
Legato look and sawing detache:
but you want to bust your bow.
Bow down and wipe off, snap the case closed.
Madame Professor says Well done.
But an electric stroboscopic frequency meter’d say otherwise.
I scratch harmonicas in half-position;
I pinch my e-string rat-a-tat;
I double-stop on any open string;
screw my G on up to B-flat.