[The following is a transcript of a speech given by the Fiery Furnaces in a motel breakfast room somewhere on the side of some road in Virginia before 9:00 am Sunday morning.]
Friends, Democ-Rock versus Bore-Core: The struggle has begun. In pursuit of a more perfect ‘DEROCMACY’: the Fiery Furnaces will record a series of albums and singles Written in Collaboration with the Citizen-Fan-Audience.

In pursuit of a more perfect DEROCMACY: the Fiery Furnaces have Already Begun the process of archiving precious materials entrusted to them for exactly this Song-Writing Purpose by the various Citizens-Fans-Audiences at the Fiery Furnaces’ DEMOC-ROCK rallies of the previous ten days. [See above photo.]

These precious materials will literally Write the Stories and Whistle the Tunes on this new, thorough-going, radically DEMOC-ROCK, series of recordings.

Friends, join us in the Song-Writing Process. Join us in building a progressive DEMOC-ROCK. Come down to a Fiery Furnaces’ DEMOC-ROCK rally and put any random piece of paper you might have had in your pocket or purse into the giant ballot box that is the stage.

Expired video rental cards, never-to-be-paid parking tickets, rude requests from your step-children, fawning memos from employees you intend to lay-off, drug-store coupons clipped but not redeemed because you missed the bus and the sale ended that night (or so the manager said), ATM receipts left by the previous withdrawer, the proverbial laundry list, examples of your left-handed handwriting, cigarette packet promotional paraphernalia: all are welcome. The “respecting and reflecting” song-writing process will turn these precious documents into the beginning of a true DEMOC-ROCK musical culture.

MAKE THE DETAILS OF YOUR LIFE THE SOUNDTRACK TO YOUR LIFE. DEROCMACY NOW!

YES WE CAN!

More information is forthcoming. In the meantime, let me say the following:

Friends, the establishment of a true, thorough-going and grass-roots, DEMOC-ROCK is surely the heart-felt goal of all believers in progressive popular culture and the music that would motor it.

In pursuit of a DEMOC-ROCK worthy of the name, not only are the Fiery Furnaces holding a caucus to determine their next (band-written) album; Not only have they been turning the stage into a giant ballot box whereby the Citizen-Fan-Audience determines what gets played that very evening, thereby reflecting and respecting the local Citizen-Fan-Audience’s DEMOC-ROCK Sovereignty.

Not only that! The Fiery Furnaces and their Citizen-Fan-Audience (CFA’s for short) believe that the voice of the people must have its say at the most BASIC level of would-be popular music. That most basic level is surely the Sacred Space of the Song-Writing process!

Of course, since the Citizen-Fan-Audiences can now get records for Free, via advances in technology (whether bands imagine they are offering them for free or not), it is only fair that CFA’s help bands write songs.

But a thorough-going, radical DEMOC-ROCK is not merely about the fall-out of technological developments. For instance, it is not about posting tracks on the internet and “letting” consumers re-mix them, turning DEMOC-ROCK into a mere video game.

And, Friends, it is not about holding On-Line-determine-the-set-list votes, thereby stripping Citizen-Fan-Audiences of their Local Audience Sovereignty–and thereby potentially giving Foreign Potentates in Dubai or London control of your local rock-show by means of their oil-money bought super-computers.

Again, Friends, join us in the Song-Writing Process. Join us in building a progressive DEMOC-ROCK. Come down to a Fiery Furnaces’ DEMOC-ROCK rally and put any random piece of paper you might have had in your pocket or purse into the giant ballot box that is the stage.

MAKE THE DETAILS OF YOUR LIFE THE SOUNDTRACK TO YOUR LIFE. DEROCMACY NOW!

YES WE CAN!

A series of rallies in support of that exciting new trend, Democ-Rock, begins tonight in Hoboken, New Jersey. These rallies will be held over the next four weeks in various swing-ing states. (They will all feature live entertainment by Democ-Rock band The Fiery Furnaces.) See below for specific dates and places.

(By the way, the caucusing to determine the next Fiery Furnaces album continues.  See the post below this one for album candidate names and brief descriptions of their proposed policies.  Make your voice heard by leaving a comment to any post on this website.)

A provisional Democ-Rock Party platform will soon be vetted here. It will, Citizen/Fans, outline a significantly more thorough-going, Citizen/Fan-Generated, type of Democ-Rock.

This thorough-going approach will work in tandem with that represented by the future, caucus-and-Democ-Rock-convention-designated but still solely-band-written, Fiery Furnaces album mentioned in the previous news item.  The confluence of these Two Approaches will result in the Mighty River of a Progressive Popular Culture To Come.  But more on that later.

Support Democ-Rock and help build that fabled progressive popular culture.  Come out to the Fiery Furnaces Roll the Dice shows/Democ-Rock rallies listed below.

Your Derocmacy needs you.

1/17 Hoboken, NJ / Maxwell’s / $15
1/18 South Burlington, VT / Higher Ground / All Ages / $12
1/19 Portland, ME / Space Gallery / 18+ / $12
1/21 Rochester, NY / The Bug Jar / 18+ / $12
1/22 Buffalo, NY / The Tralf / All Ages / $12
1/23 State College, PA / Lulu’s / All Ages / $12
1/24 Columbus, OH / The Basement / All Ages / $12
1/25 Baltimore, MD / Ottobar / All Ages / $12
1/26 Charlottesville, VA / Satellite Ballroom / All Ages / $15
1/27 Washington, DC / 9:30 Club / All Ages / $15 w/ Super Furry Animals
1/29 Carrboro, NC / Cat’s Cradle / All Ages / $15 w/ Super Furry Animals
1/30 Atlanta, GA / Variety Playhouse / All Ages / $15 w/ Super Furry Animals
1/31 New Orleans, LA / The Republic / 18+ / $15 w/ Super Furry Animals
FEBRUARY
2/1 Dallas, TX / Granada Theater / All Ages / $15 w/ Super Furry Animals
2/2 Houston, TX / The Proletariat / All Ages / $12
2/4 Memphis, TN / Hi-Tone Cafe / 18+ / $10
2/5 Oxford, MS / Proud Larry’s / 18+ / $10
2/6 Nashville, TN / Exit/In / 18+ / $14
2/7 Birmingham, AL / Bottletree / 18+
2/8 Asheville, NC / Grey Eagle Tavern / $13
2/9 Knoxville, TN / Pilot Light / 18+

Democracy fever has the Fiery Furnaces swooning. Excess Patriotism has lead to an attempt to truly open up the political-artistic process. The Mobilization Movement needs to be flipped over onto your record player.

Therefore, the On-Line Non-Binding Caucus to determine what the Fiery Furnaces’ next studio album will be begins today! Please go stand over in the corner of the Internet next to the album of your choice. Stomp your feet and chant your candidate’s name.

Red candidates:

1. Sweetheart and Co.
Gershwin imitations as the tunes and changes. “Found” material (or imitation ‘found’ material) as the lyrics. Orphan love songs, therefore. Ensemble to feature piano, bass, and drum kit only; very sparse pretend-modern (not George-like) playing on the piano and bass; pulse kept sometimes by the drums, sometimes by the singer’s clapping.

2. Kythphiaxkis Traans-Oinomaos
A double-sided love story involving one beautiful hermaphrodite and a second, conventionally unattractive one. (The former named Aphrodite and the latter named Herm.) Songs in the style of Abba’s “Waterloo” and a few of the (early) Bee-Gees’ Greatest Hits.

3. Roughing It (Or Two Delinquent Dads)
Long-verse many-verse Dylan-style numbers with blues changes. The guitars and pianos (but not the bass), however, will be in quarter-step tunings against each other. Lots of happy-go-lucky clanging-and-banging. Many of the songs set in Old Hawaii.

4. Archer Ave. Cupid’s Corner
Chicago Fall album. (The band and the season (the band The Fall and not the band Chicago).) Music in imitation of the early 80’s, double-drumming Fall, but the ensemble consisting not of that sort of band but, instead, a 18th-century-performance-style outfit like the old Il Complesso Barocco or La Petite Bande. (Though with rock drum kit also, often.)

Blue Candidates:

1.Gangleri’s Warg
Straight Yes Close to the Edge imitating. “Helir hlyr at stali/ hafit fellr, en svifr thelli.” etc. Featuring fun songs to play live. Sure to be popular!

2. Three-dom is Two-darn One-derful (Four-dom and Eight-red Zero-in on your Five-lihood)
Funk record. Featuring the debut of the Eleanorettes (backing singers). Very dead and dark sounding. You’ll see!

3. Catamite Corner
Across the street from red number 4, apparently. Old Egyptian Soap-Opera music with bass guitar and drum kit. Like “Kashmir”, but faster, with real strings, and different sorts of lyrics. Trust me!

4. No one knows what it’s like
Very serious, almost ghoulish, Who’s Next-izing. Will there be a song called “Your Wife”? No. But there might certainly be one called “Getting Out of Tune”. Sure to be a Masterpiece!

Now, there might be a Rich Independent Candidate Album waiting in the wings. But in the meantime, Voice of the People-ize!

The Fiery Furnaces are All Fiery-ed Up and Ready to Go on their ROLL THE DICE/LEAP OF FAITH tour 2008.

The Fiery Furnaces encourage everyone to “roll the dice” and make the “leap of faith” these next few months.  The most obvious place for the application of this attitude is the polling place. But why not also go to a Fiery Furnaces show?

The band is very pleased to learn that the American people want Change. It so happens that the Fiery Furnaces are all about Change— for instance, the music sometimes has a fair amount of changes in it.

It seems, however, that this tour will be the same as the last ones. Eleanor Friedberger will do the singing, Matthew Friedberger will play the keyboards, Jason Loewenstein will play the bass guitar, and Bob D’Amico will play the drum kit.  [Watch a show here:  fabchannel.com]

Hmm. But will it really be the same? Really? Circumstances change, and that changes everything.

I think that this time, it’s different. You know, we’ve played in Baltimore before. But this time, it’s different. You folks down in Houston, you might have seen us before, but This Time, It’s Different. Folks over in Tennessee might not have been able to come the last time we played in Nashville. But THIS TIME, IT’S DIFFERENT.

Needless to say, the band will not be playing in New Hampshire anytime soon.

This Tour supports the senator-from-Illinois, not the senator from Illinois. Meaning, of course, that it supports the senator representing Illinois, not the senator born in Illinois. This Tour cannot support the sort of Change that doesn’t initially oppose the war in Iraq. It cannot support the sort of Ready-ness that botched so thoroughly the previous attempt at establishing universal health care (a disaster that, remember, ushered in the current 13 years of right-wing triumphalism). And, certainly, it cannot see how the Democratic party’s best interests would be served by returning to power that Champion waster of talent and opportunity— Bill.

The Fiery Furnaces have the Audacity to Hope that we will see you at a show soon. Roll the Dice!

In no highlight-ly order:

“”I prefer it to be called the Mephistopheles Speakeasy.”"
by Megan Baskin

“Madame comes to check my work”
by Sierra J

“Sip from my nipperkin-formented black morello cherry-and allay my sway to the allergando strikes of the one who made mensh music, lofty lad, thought the words made me weary…”
by Candice Cross

“By the time I’d finished reading it, the horse had gone”
by Victoria Critchley

“Poof! these supper club beelzebubs have marked you”
by Marcus Parcus

“Puke. Puke. Puke”
by Panagiotis Papadopoulos

“Anything too stupid to be said is sung.”
by Chris Musillo

“I had a split vision”
by Alex Andren

“Satan’s little helpers”
by Ian Marshall

“Snow White and her Small Mates”
by Stephen Adams

“Today I found a silly sound, a funny string on my guitar”
by Kim Vanderpoorten

“My mathemortician, he’s no magician”
by Leanna McMillin

“My daddy pulled your tooth!”
by Sasha Opeiko

“She fell asleep and dreamt five-plus-two”
by Ben Ladouceur

“In her predicament, most pixies would have disintegrated into a puddle on the linoleum.
But this pixie fought back.”
by Scott McGinnis

“One million, two hundred thirty-four thousand, five hundred and sixty-seven. My mother’s name is Harriet.”
by Arthur Meyer

“His head got red and he was multiplied to the number of days in that week.”
by Jannes Schuermans

“The maid’s hands rest on her hips. She once used those for the Tropicana dances.”
by Thomas Britt

“In the time before the dime cost a dollar”
by Daniel Lishok

“Those satanic ear-bleeders”
by DW

“But he was not born to work, he was born to shine!”
by Martha Lavooi

“Made myself a snack sac of Samoas and raced off to have my ears pierced.”
by donkey beads

“Tell wild lies”
by Scott Amy

“A set of siete salesmen (coincidentally all named Salvador) found themselves holding or hoarding a most coveted key.”
by Nathan Loetz

“Should I miss spell in instinct will win a bee.”
by Troy Flippen

“Drinking diet cola from a tiny hole”
by Darren Kim

“Now enter the sheriff with tin on his tit.”
(Again) by Scott McGinnis

“Those dancing girls doesn’t always dance nice”
by Ian Weatherseed

“The feeling was the falling.”
by Ross B. Maddux

“…stolen/By some slick Lucy.”
and
“Snake says to my baby…”
by Melinda Wynn

KIM VANDERPOORTEN, SASHA OPEIKO, LEANNA McMILLEN, PANAGIOTIS PAPADOPOULOS, AND DONKEY BEADS: WINNERS OF THE MOONLESS MONDAY SONG-WRITING COMPETITION (LYRICS)

Remember, there are no losers: only winners. And remember that the winning entries were dubbed so because of the felicitous way they were thought to combine. They were judged to combine with each other in a felicitous manner. (And so the number of winning entries was enlarged from 2 to 5.)

IN OTHER WORDS, the non-winning entries might in fact be better (than the winning ones), so to speak. Please keep this in mind, especially if you happen to be the author of a non-winning entry. You should certainly imagine its non-winning status to be a matter of circumstance and expediency– not merit.

The winning entries will be posted, put-together, in the next little bit.

Kim Vanderpoorten, Sasha Opeiko, Leanna McMillen, Panagiotis Papadopoulos, and ‘Donkey Beads’–your prizes will soon be on their way.

The deadline for the Cabaret of the Seven Devils Songwriting Competition (lyrics portion) is December 1st.  Please send in your submissions by midnight, December 2nd.  We look forward to judging them.

We think that this letter from Dennis (sent to Bob at thebigfoist@gmail.com) speaks for itself.  However, we all did have a lot of fun playing the show in question.  And we all smiled a lot.

Date: Nov 23, 2007 1:08 PM
Subject: Your Show in Berlin
To: thebigfoist@gmail.com

Dear Fiery Furnaces,

yesterday I attended one of the greatest concerts in my whole life. A very unconventional band was playing. The mere presence of the extraordinary and somewhat geeky characters in the band was exciting to witness. The musical performance of each single member and all of them together was exceptional. The singer stunned the crowd with her close-to-magic voice control. The drummer and the keyboarder played the most challenging parts like it was the easiest thing on earth. The bass player let everyone forget there was no electric guitar and made me smile for his awesome basslines and patterns. That band was you!

However, there were two things that left me with a strange feeling, and the feeling is still there now. First, you did not seem to have any fun, which I believe is a consequence of misinterpretations. Germans often speak English quite well but are far worse with understanding. When the band got introduced it was hard for me to get it when Eleanor was introduced. People had the deepest and most honest respect for you Eleanor and I for my part was also a bit paralyzed by your performance. It seemed like you were seeking feedback you did not get and at times I was confused about the crowd’s reactions too.

Feel free to be in a bad mood, but it seemed like none of you were enjoying the show a lot.
@Eleanor: you are awesome and I liked your appearance, even though I think your style of clothing and hair, though original, do not support your beauty as it should. The combination of such great charisma and voice even exceeds Khaela’s of The Blow. I could not believe what I heard when you changed key without even breathing in between, during one transition of songs.
@Matthew: you are obviously one of the most talented musicians of our time and there is little to add. Sometimes your playing seemed just a little bit too perfect. And please, smile!
@Jason (name correct?): Awesome bass play. You’re probably a guitar player. Stay as u r.
@Bob: you play the drums like you *are* the drums. I bet your parents are both drummers. You seemed really really straight and I would’ve enjoyed your drum play even more if it had been a little less perfect.
@Mixer (name?): I used to be a sound engineer myself. The sound was perfect.

Please come back to Berlin soon. In my eyes, your music is the most original and you’re on top of my list. That’s also why I wrote this email, cos I really care. So I’d be happy if you let me know what you thought about that show.

All the best, and HAVE FUN!!
Dennis Kuehn

Berlin, Germany

Do you know how many people on “Facebook” have “St. Louis,” “Gay,” and “The Fiery Furnaces” in their self-description? One! Did that make Eric’s odds good or bad?

Good, it turned out. Eric drove the 4 hours from his forest by the lake in God-knows-where, Missouri, to have a date with “St. Louis/Gay/The Fiery Furnaces”: Tommy. The date of the date was on 4-20. The date took place in Tommy’s apartment. Eric and Tommy now live together. Tommy’s surprise birthday present to Eric was a trip to Chicago to see the Fiery Furnaces on 6-21. They told their story to the band at their show in St. Louis on 10-29. Moral of the story: the Fiery Furnaces Lead to Love!

The Fiery Furnaces are proud to announce the beginning of their six-part adaptation of that classic work of the European Imagination, Giambattista Basile’s Lo cunto de li cunti. Believing that rock music is ideal for the dramatization of this work when the title is left un-translated (which of course it should be), the Fiery Furnaces (or related enterprises) will be recording the first slant in and around Naples sometime in the next 11 months. Interested parties with access to recording facilities in the south of Italy or water jugs full of tears should please write to the band’s P.O. Box.